Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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