New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
