Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
