PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
