It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
