I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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