Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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