he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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