i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
