im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
