whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
