And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
