I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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