I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize