I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
