i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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