Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
