How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
