9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize