8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
