he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
