Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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