cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Someone came in the potted fern
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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