Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
