I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
