you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
