i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize