I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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