got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
