First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
