i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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