and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize