Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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