But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
