He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
