Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize