Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
