thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
