I love black thongs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
