he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am naked and annoyed.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
