My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
