I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All I want is dick and wine.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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