in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
