he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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