I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
