Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
