I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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