He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
