She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
