Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just blew my weed a kiss
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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