Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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