I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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