Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
