It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
