I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
someone owes me an orgasm
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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