I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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