I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
