READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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