I'm lost and stupid without you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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