Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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