Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
