just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you told grandpa to call you daddy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
