He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
