New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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