I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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