Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
