you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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