Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
