Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
